Settlers and sons: Roebuck, get a grip!

(A version of this article appeared on Cricinfo's "Inbox" blog in September 2009)

I’m a regular follower of Peter Roebuck’s columns for Cricinfo and the Sydney Morning Herald. The former Somerset captain is certainly one of the most eloquent and thought-provoking cricket writers around today. His most recent opinion piece for Cricinfo Magazine, however, a warning to English cricket that it’s “no time for back-slapping,” strikes me as faintly ridiculous, and some of the comments in it regarding English-born Asian cricketers I find really rather disconcerting.

The Sydney-based Roebuck has long maintained that Aussie dominance in the Ashes is a fitting reflection of the contrast between (what he perceives to be) the vibrant and competitive “prevailing culture” in his adopted home and a chronic national malaise back in the old country. It seems the Australian team’s sudden fall from grace has upset his worldview. Convinced that “English culture” still lacks “vim and vigour,” he looks elsewhere for an explanation for England’s recent success.

Would Rashid be a rash choice for the Oval Test?

Is it time for Ramps’ last dance, or is Key needed to unlock England’s middle order problems? Does either of these contenders deserve to overtake the fast-rising Trott? As far as shoring up England’s batting is concerned, the drastic suggestions - and bad tabloid headlines - have been coming thick and fast. Some have even proposed a one-stop shop at Tresco, causing the poor man to wake up in a cold sweat at the very thought.

As far as I’m concerned, however, England’s real problem lies elsewhere. None of the four first class matches played at the Oval so far this year have yielded a positive result, with rain interruptions to blame on only one of those occasions. Surrey Chief Executive Paul Sheldon has declared that his groundsman Bill Gordon will not be “cooking the books” to help England and intends to produce a traditional hard, flat Oval wicket. England’s real problem, then, is how to take twenty wickets; the composition of the bowling attack should be the chief topic of discussion when the selectors convene.

Raking over those Ashes

(A version of this article appeared in Varsity in June 2009)

The wait is almost over. In just a few weeks’ time, Andrew Strauss and Ricky Ponting will walk out for the toss at Sophia Gardens in Cardiff, and we’ll finally be able to tuck into the main course of this summer’s extravagant feast of cricket – the Ashes. This time around, there are some unfamiliar items on the Aussie side of the menu. While the tourists are confident that these fresh ingredients will spice up their team, the home side are aware that the likes of Hughes, Haddin and Siddle clearly lack the seasoning of the men they have replaced. As a brand new chapter of Ashes history begins, England will fancy their chances of regaining the urn.

Flip through earlier chapters of that history and you notice that a number of Cambridge men figure prominently. Mike Atherton (Downing 1986-89), the most recent CUCC Captain to go on to skipper England, took part in some epic Ashes battles but sadly never tasted success. Mike Brearley (St John’s 1960-68) had better luck, famously masterminding a Botham-inspired comeback in 1981. To find Cambridge’s most significant contributor to Ashes history, however, you have to turn to the very first volume, dated 1882. Therein lies the tale of the very blighter who first brought the urn back to Old Blighty – the Honourable Ivo Bligh (Trinity 1877-81). After England’s first defeat on home soil had prompted the Sporting Times to print its now famous mock obituary of English cricket, it was Bligh who led the touring team that set sail for Australia, declaring that he intended “to recover those Ashes.” And recover them he jolly well did. His personal contribution? Just 33 runs in 3 Tests, but plenty of damned fine after-dinner speeches, no doubt.

Chris Martin: A Rabbit's Tale

(A version of this article appeared on Cricinfo's "Inbox" blog in October 2009)



Tailenders. They just don’t make ’em like they used to. The genuine rabbit – a creature prone to prod meekly at balls outside off stump and liable to leap out of the way of anything close to the body – is now an endangered species in international cricket. Everywhere we look, tailenders are working hard at their batting and scoring more and more runs. The members of the Aussie fast bowlers' union are the “worst” tailenders of the lot. Glenn McGrath – surprisingly but fittingly – led the way in 2004 by reaching a half-century at the 115th time of asking. Since then, we’ve seen courageous final stands in the 2005 Ashes, fifties aplenty, Johnson’s heroic hundred and Dizzy’s frankly ridiculous double. Here in England, Duncan Fletcher orchestrated a ruthless rabbit cull. Dear old Monty managed to survive, but only because he is every bit as industrious as he is inept, in contrast to his undeniably indolent predecessors Phil Tufnell and Devon Malcolm.

However, all is not lost for rabbit-lovers. In seamer Chris Martin, New Zealand, a warren of some pedigree – Ewen Chatfield, Danny Morrison and Geoff Allott spring to mind – have produced a very fine specimen indeed. What's more, there is a strong case for anointing Martin as the worst batsman Test cricket has ever seen.

The IPL - it's big, it's brash, it's biblical...

(A version of this article appeared in Varsity in April 2009)

Is Lalit Modi really cricket’s Moses? It was Ravi Shastri who first described the IPL supremo as a “Moses of the game, who has shown the path to blazing success.” There is, of course, a fair chance that Shastri only made this pronouncement because his contract as an IPL commentator explicitly required him to do so. Nonetheless, it’s worth contemplating this comparison for a minute, especially given what Modi himself has said about his agenda: “We have taken some bold steps. We're going forward and trying to change the world order.”